life in the old lane

Yoga yesterday was very hard on my elderly body. Yoga was cancelled this morning – which might have saved my life. Went to the old airport for a little whale watching with my friend, Billy and then had breakfast. Billy went off to work at “Carlton’s Palace” and I logged 6 miles on the FitBit. (Hey, Carlton – you are the only one who would care about this – according to FitBit I walked 1,237 miles since mid-April when I got the gizmo.)

REAL Food. Yogurt for lunch – after eating a big breakfast. (couple of eggs, toast with butter and jelly, rice, bacon, fruit) Salad is on tap for dinner.

I think I have managed to get back into yoga after a 20 year yoga lapse. Decided this afternoon that I’ll try to put Zen meditation back in my life.  10 minutes was a long time to sit fixedly, thinking of not thinking. Why you might ask. Well, last year – the only time that I wasn’t worrying about Carlton was those few seconds when I was looking through the view finder of my camera. (Looking at the LCD screen don’t work – it had to be through the view finder.) I realized that those few seconds were a few seconds of pure “mindfulness”. Mindfulness is sort of meditation lite, I think.

I love these guys. They look like wild canaries. But, they are not related to real canaries.  And they are almost always found in pairs. Once again, according to the Bishop Museum:

Saffron Finches are native to S America and have been successfully introduced to Panama, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, and on O’ahu and Hawai’i I in the Southeastern Hawaiian Islands (Long 1981, Lever 1987, Ridgely and Tudor 1989, AOU 1998). Populations on both islands have been established since introduction in the mid 1960s.

On Hawai’i I, individuals were apparently released along with other finches and waxbills at the Pu’u Wa’a Wa’a Ranch in or before 1965 and they were reported to be increasing by Dec 1967. . .  By the 1990s-2000s they had become established throughout the island including Volcano (e.g., 4 recorded there on the 2003 Christmas Count), being one of the most common species in drier and man-altered habitats.

Note to Carlton: You are officially dead. And we were indeed married. Today the Social Security Administration put $255 in my account. That would be the Surviving Spouse Lump-sum Death Payment. However, I really think you are worth more than $255. I’d send the money back if I thought it would give me another day with you. I will think of something to do with the money. Maybe I’ll turn it into a Starbucks Card!

On the REAL food front. For lunch I nuked a sweet potato and had it with a little chicken. I made hardboiled eggs in the rice cooker. And, I am planning on have avocado and cheese sandwich plus a beer for dinner. I have lost 3 pounds since I got here. I have been exercising more than I have been eating. But, I don’t want to start junking up my diet. I am trying to eat a little more “good stuff” every day. Beer is included in “good stuff”.

An unexpected cruise ship arrived in the bay today. And directions for making an origami cruise ship arrived in the email. Thanks Dennis!

REAL food. Rice, spinach, chicken for lunch. Dinner will be salad or avocado and cheese sandwich.

Extra New Year’s Resolution: Stop wearing ratty old swimsuits. Easy resolution to keep. I just put all the offending togs in the trash. I still have plenty of perfectly fine suits.

Above we have “Fred”. At least that is what the homeless people call him. They don’t actually talk to him. Nobody talks to Fred. He is a loner. He is called “Fred” because the homeless people think he is Fred MacMurray’s son and has a trust fund. The trust fund must not be doing too good. Fred used to get his coffee and a coffee shop and food at restaurants. This year he seems to be dining at the gas station like most of the other homeless. I have heard from usually reliable sources that he has a jacket and a plaid bathrobe (which he dons in the evening). Fred has been a local “feature” for at least 10 years. Carlton maintained that Fred was like a cockroach. No matter what happens to planet earth – Fred and the cockroaches will survive.

 

Walking around the Old Airport the morning, I found a several interesting cacti in bloom. Since I was walking with a friend – I only stopped long enough for a couple of shots of each one. But, this one was fun to play around with in Lightroom.

Another lazy day. Actually too lazy. I am sort of bored right now and don’t actually recall if I have been bored since Carlton died. Well, a quick search of the blog tells me I was bored on December 1st. Nothing special about being bored. I used to get bored with Carlton was alive too. Worse things than being bored. And, getting out of being bored is my job – as Carlton would have gleefully pointed out.

There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself. Miyamoto Musashi, The Book of Five Rings.

And, if you don’t know who Master Musashi is – you need to take a teenager to Japan.

A report on the egg nuked in an avocado – my REAL food dinner from yesterday. I had half an avocado. I removed the seed. Broke an egg into the seed cavity. Put it in a microwave safe bowl, and nuked it for 2.5 minutes. Then I put some salsa on it and it was ready to eat. I think it would have been better if baked at say 425 degrees until the egg was as done as you wanted it. But, it was very good. I will add it to my collection of REAL food dinners of one. It would be an excellent way to use a less than ripe avocado. I think it would be better in the oven – because it is real easy to turn an egg into rubber in the microwave. And, if any of you decide to try it in your microwave – remember to rupture the yoke prior to nuking.

This avocado/egg thing turned out to be first class “comfort food”. Right up there with Mac&Cheese.

After going for a walk at the beach, my friend and I went to breakfast at the Fish Hopper. I had french toast to die for. Skipped lunch and it is now almost 5PM. Still not hungry. So, I am thinking that tonight’s REAL food dinner will be half a papaya and some cheese, later.

The Java sparrow or Java temple bird another import. They are flock birds, if you find one, you find a bunch of them. Once again – according to the Bishop Museum:

Java Sparrows are resident on Java and Bali Is in Indonesia, and have been
introduced throughout SE Asia, in India, and on many islands around the world (Long 1981, Lever 1987, Pratt et al. 1987, Islam 1997, AOU 1998, Higgins et al. 2006). In thePacific they were introduced for a short time during the 1960s on Guam (until a hurricane apparently did them in), they have been established in Fiji since the 1920s, and at least 1-2 were observed on Wake sporadically between 1952 and 1966 (Rauzon et al. 2008). In the Southeastern Hawaiian Islands, they became established on O’ahu in the 1960s and on Kaua’i, Moloka’i, Maui, and Hawai’i I in the 1980s, and have been implicated in a number of problems associated with disturbance to neighborhoods, threats to agriculture, and the spreading of noxious plants in Hawaii (Kishinami 2001).

On Hawai’i I, three adults and two juveniles were first reported N of
the Kona Surf Hotel, Kona, in Jan 1982.

Note to Bishop Museum: We have lots of them now.

Another lazy day. Walking, swimming, reading under a palm tree. Watching football right now. And, trying to decide what REAL food to fix for dinner. Think I might nuke an egg in half an avocado. Top it off with salsa. Pop open a Stein Lager.  Sounds good. I have never actually nuked an egg in an avocado.

(GO SEAHAWKS. Since Paul Allen has a house across the street from me – I root for his team.)

Found an adult version of the yellow-billed cardinal this morning.

Taking it pretty easy today. So, what else is new. Logged my 5 miles. Stopped to watch some kids playing in the surf

And, I stocked the larder with rice, eggs, cheese, tangerines, papaya, avocado – this is for 2015 resolution to: Cook REAL food. Trying avoid Lean Cuisine and take out. Years with Carlton makes it easy to avoid restaurants.

And this one is for Harlene.

These are the fish off the end of the pier. They are harder to photograph from above than yesterday’s school of tang that hang out off the side of the pier.

 

This rather scruffy looking bird is a teenager. The youngsters have a brownish heads. Adults have bright – cardinal red – heads. This is not a native bird. According to the Bishop Museum:

Yellow-billed Cardinals inhabit dry forests of S America, from se. Bolivia and c.
Brazil S to n. Argentina (Ridgley and Tudor 1989, AOU 1998), and have been introduced only to Hawai’i I around the world (Long 1981, Lever 1987). It is unknown when or how this species arrived to Hawai’i.

There are not a lot of these guys. They are sort of limited to the area around our little village.

Carlton’s Little Book – January 8 was a busy day. Carlton noted that he went to his first AA meeting – at Foxhall – on this day in 1973. The anniversary of a local boy is recorded. He notes that today is Elvis’s Birthday. It says ELVIS – 1935. And, if Carlton could see his Little Book today – he would be seriously pissed. The book says “2013 – tooth – $1500”. Carlton would be pissed because he sure didn’t get his money’s worth out of that dental repair. He had that tooth for 633 days. For a daily cost of $2.37.

Thought about resolutions for 2015

Resolved 2015

1. Stay the course to the old folks asylum. I am an old person. 
2. Go to at least one real yoga class per week. 
3. Get rid of all of Carlton’s stuff
4. Back at the apartment – start getting ready to move to the old folks asylum.
5. Do not buy any new/used clothes without getting rid of TWO items. 
6. Keep weight around 115 pounds. 
7. Keep walking.
8. And, this is very important now – COOK real food. 

Worked on #7 today – I went to the grocery and didn’t buy anything frozen. I will try hard to cook real food and eschew Lean Cuisine.

The Pacific Golden Plover is known as kolea here in Hawai’i. They nest in Alaska and Siberia and spend the fall and winter in Hawai’i. But some go as far as Australia and New Zealand. They seem to return to the same location every year and people await the annual return of “their” kolea. The kolea mate for life and live about 15 years.

Kolea are able to land on water and take off again, but scientists don’t know if they rest on the water during their long trip, or if they fly non-stop. If they do not stop to rest, it would take them two days and nights to fly to Alaska from Hawaii. Birds migrating to and from southern New Zealand must fly over 8,000 miles. That could be more than eight full days in flight!

I found a gecko on my mirror this morning. It was a little pale looking – I think it was having a hard time with it’s color adjusting circuits.

I will not complain about it being cold today, since it seems to be VERY cold back home today.  Let’s just say that after my swim – I needed a big cup of hot tea and a hot shower. Too bad our hotel doesn’t have a hot tub. Heck, we are lucky to have hot water!

I had a very active day today. 75 minutes of yoga class, 30 minutes of ocean swimming and 5.25 miles walking. I amazed myself. Think I was able to do all this because it was cool. Anyhow, tomorrow is my “day off”. So, I plan to take it easy.

I started reading a new book this afternoon. It is the first “non-chicK-lit” book that I have attempted since my brain started working. It isn’t great literature. I found it on my Kindle and I must have gotten it for Carlton. The Pearl Harbor Murders by Max Collins. Not recommending it – it is just a mini-milestone for me.

I haven’t made any resolutions this year. I decided to check last year’s resolutions. From my January 1, 2014 post.

Resolved for 2014

1. Stop saying/thinking “when I get old…” Face it: I am old.
2. Do Yoga 6 times a week
3. Read 60 minutes a day. This is uninterrupted. I have become scattered. I hope this will sort of get me re-focused. No more wandering over to Twitter mid-sentence. That is the plan.
4.  15 minutes decluttering everyday – my eternal battle with stuff.
5.  Cook more. Using “real” ingredients. Not frozen, boxed, canned, jarred or picked up at the deli.
6.  Get 10 pounds off. This is not a vanity thing. My knees and hips are starting creak. I imagine that having less Peg to haul around should help.
7. Keep walking.

I am stuck that I seem to have noticed that I couldn’t read any more. I’ll think about these resolutions and see what I “should” work on in 2015.

Kona-kine watch dog. You gotta watch that you don’t step on him.

I will not complain about it being cold today – since it snowed back home.

Lazy day for me. Yoga, trek to grocery, little walk, read some, swim some.

On the widow woman front. I have ticked off a lot of potential “firsts”.

• First Halloween
• First Thanksgiving
• First Xmas
• First New Years
• First Anniversary

That is a good start. I am doing really well here in Kona. There isn’t any of Carlton’s stuff left here in the hotel room. I had a couple of photos of him printed at Target over here. I have them on the wall. But, this is my space now.

Back in Arlington – well, that will be a different story. Carlton’s stuff will be everywhere. Even after I get rid of this stuff – His Chair, His Bathroom, His Desk in His Room. All this stuff will be around to remind me that Carlton isn’t around.

We got married in our living room in front of the fireplace on a snowy afternoon. I was a ninja bride. Getting married was Carlton’s idea. I wasn’t interested. But, he was the grownup and said that it would be administratively easier to “just get married”. And, he was right. It is easier for me… Being the legal widow vice surviving “girl friend”.

We never did anything special for our anniversary – so today wasn’t bad for me. It was a good day. I finally found a whale. I did my laundry. And, went for a chilly swim. Then I enjoyed a hot shower and a nice cup of tea.

Today would have been Carlton’s 42th AA anniversary. Carlton arranged our wedding – I wanted to have a drive thru wedding in Vegas – and he picked the date.

Note to Carlton: I am glad we got married. I am still married. Never mind that you are dead. You are still my husband. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

After after the storm, lots of beach glass. 99.9% of our beach glass comes from beer bottles.

Enjoying the return of my brain to normal functioning. I started reading the camera instruction book today. I started with the “Introduction”. And, I intended to read every single word up until I get to the software part.

I had an fine day. But, remember, I am very easily entertained. Started out by resupplying myself for the next two months. Got toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, bath salts, Fitbit batteries – that sort of stuff. Then I took myself to breakfast. After that, I rode the bus down to the end of road and back. The bus ride took just about as long as my New Year’s Day submarine ride. The bus ride cost $120 less. And, it was just as enjoyable. As, I said, I am very easily entertained.

It is still too cold for me to go in the ocean. Even with a wetsuit. The ocean part would be OK. It is the getting out that would be too cold.

Thoughts. Carlton would say that I should “accept what happened and get on with life with no drama or hysteria.” I think I am OK with the “accept” part. And the “no drama or hysteria” part. I don’t seem to be making much progress on the “get on with life” part.

“Get on with life” – I have been doing much thinking about the old folk’s asylum. I have been toying with going on an extended asylum search. Checking out asylums in Honolulu, Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco at a minimum. But, as I mentioned the other day – Carlton was the grownup in our little family. He sort of made it clear that I should move to the asylum that we picked out.

So, now that my brain is returning – I thought about where to live and what am I going to do. First, I love my current apartment. I love the view, I love the location, and the staff is great. I would cheerfully live there as long as my body and brain hold up. But, nobody is promised tomorrow. I do not want to end up in hospital with no place to go except the only nursing home in the area that has a vacancy. (And, in our area, the nursing home that has a vacancy is the last place you want to be. It has a vacancy for a reason.)

The “continuing care retirement community” that we picked out has been in business for 50 years. It is run by the Episcopal Church. They have very nice “independent living” apartments. Sizes from studio to huge. The view are good. Just not killer like I have now. The location is OK. It it not the pedestrian friendly neighborhood that I live in now. One has to take a bus to the metro. Now, I only have to take an elevator. (I will get a car service or at least become good friends with a cab driver.) I am comfortable in Northern VA. I know how it works, where stuff is, I have a doctor, a dentist etc here.

On the plus side. My monthly cost wouldn’t increase much. Unless I get one of the hugest units. Included in my monthly cost would be maid service, all utilities, and about one meal a day. If I am gone for 7 days – then I get a reduction in monthly charges.

And, when I am no longer sound of mind and/or body. They take care of my sorry ass. They would do for me much of what I did for Carlton over the last couple of years. Except worry. I doubt they would worry about me.

So, I am thinking that with this “continuing care retirement community”, a good elder care lawyer and a trustworthy money person – and I should be good to go for the final act. These three entities can sort of watch each other if I become unable to do my own watching.

Which sort of leads to “what am I going to do”? Well, I love going places. I will continue coming to Kona in the winter. And, I’ll go on at least one “adventure” every year. When long range travel becomes too challenging – there a lots of interesting places to go in our area. And the asylum has little field trips – when I get to the point that I can not get out and about on my own.

So, just for today, I think staying the course, staying in northern Virginia makes the most sense. Subject to change, of course.

 

There might have been better surf somewhere else in the neighborhood, but this was the best in my my walking range.

My brain is definitely starting to work a little better. I spent a couple of hours this morning organizing my new finances, paying my umbrella insurance bill, buying a US Savings bond.

I have been reading the camera manual. And, I think a got better focused surfing pictures as a result. I enjoy taking pictures of surfing as much as I enjoyed surfing 50 years ago. Funny how these things evolve.

As for my ability to read – I have plowed through more than a few trashy chic books. Think I’ll try something a little more challenging next. And, if it doesn’t work – I’ll go back to Nora Roberts. I will not beat myself up – it took 2 years to lose my reading ability. It might take 2 years to get it back.