Today we have one elevator.
The Old Bat’s Cave has become The 11th Floor Walkup.
I am giving up elevators for Lent.
Seriously, I am grateful that I can walk up to 11.
The Litany of Saint Quattuora
Patron Saint of Elevators and the Long Wait
O Saint Quattuora,
Guardian of shafts and sovereign of cables,
Keeper of flickering indicators and reluctant doors,
Look kindly upon this eleventh-floor pilgrim.
Send us a car that moves with purpose,
That does not hesitate between floors,
That opens without drama
And closes without reconsideration.
Deliver us from handwritten signs,
From blinking error codes,
And from the phrase “scheduled maintenance.”
And grant that when we press “Up,”
The machinery share our purpose.
Preserve our knees,
Strengthen our breath,
And let at least one elevator be working.
Amen.
(Feast day observed whenever more than one elevator functions simultaneously.)
And thanks to OpenAI for the artwork and poem assistance. Quattuora is a made-up Latin word. Because everything sounds more important in Latin.