For no apparent reason, other than the promise of a good beer and GREAT grilled cheese sandwich – I went to work twice today. That about used up my entire day. I rode my favorite bus – the 41.
And I pondered my relationship with Mr C. A friend said that she had had boy friends, relationships and husbands – but she had never be truly loved by a man. She had never had a true partnership with a man.
Carlton was not an “ideal” husband. He never gave me flowers, he didn’t believe in presents, we ate ONE meal out in all the years we were together. He didn’t take care of my car. (I resented that! Car care was “man’s work” IMHO.)
He helped around the house. He mowed the grass, when we had grass. He provided me with an annuity that keeps me in the style to which I am accustomed.
Most importantly, he was my sea anchor. A stabilizing force in any storm. I counted on him to be there for me – no matter what. When he was dying he worried about me as much as I worried about him. He took care of me while I was taking care of him. I was truly loved by Carlton.
So, never having been truly loved by a man is one drama that I missed in this life.
