This widow business sucks. Carlton was high maintenance. It was “The Carlton way or no way”. But, damn, after 18 months – I still miss having him around. Having someone who knew me better than I knew myself watching my back. Today, I feel like I am furiously swimming against the current – making no progress. But, I have to remember that soon another wave will come along and get me unstuck.
And, it doesn’t matter that there are 500 plus friendly neighbors right here at the asylum.
Positives: I got the tax stuff done today. Maybe that is why I am feeling a little depressed. And, I started the day off with an hour on the treadmill. Plus it is cold and rainy outside. Wait – this was supposed to be about positives.
Think I’ll head downstairs and see what the dinner special is… But, I am thinking I’ll eat in tonight. And read. I miss talking to Carlton about what we were reading. Nevermind that I had to get the books for him and put them on his Kindle.
There is no dinner special tonight. I shall fix my own supper. And hopefully, by tomorrow morning – I will have escaped from this “grief hold down”.
Update on the Shoe Failure. Apparently it is not unique to Dansko. The material used for soles just “dies”. Suddenly. Guess I am lucky that just one corner of mine turned to dust. (So far.) And, these shoes seem to die quicker if they are not used. Which makes sense – since they were left in the closet all the time I was in Hawai’i. If I get a new pair – how will I know if they are “fresh”? I would hate to get a pair that had been in a warehouse for 4 years.
Sending hugs and love.