Damn, just when I get all over confident and feel sure that I have got the widow business down pat – then bam – I get hit with a day like today when I feel totally bereft without my best friend forever. When I realize that I will never see him again. Except when he comes back from Georgetown Medical School in a coffee can. Days when dashing one’s self one’s husband’s funeral pyre seems like a good idea.
Don’t worry, I am not really suicidal. Just not handling alone too well today. Guess I should turn on the TV, find some golf or a nature show and just pretend that Carlton is sitting in his chair watching TV. I can ask him “what do you want for dinner” and he’ll say “any little thing”.
Ah, got a show about grizzly bears on the TV. Now, I’ll just read. I am reading the old Robert Heinlein kid novella Have Space Suit Will Travel. And, in a while, I’ll make myself some dinner. Any little thing.
And tomorrow by tomorrow, I’ll be out of this funk.