Author: Peg

I went into the city today to check out the Howard University Home Coming Parade. It was either that or the “anti NSA” protest. Goodness knows that I love a protest almost as much as I love a parade. The Parade won. I am too old to do both in one day.

As for pictures… Well, I took the camera that costs as much as a car – but, I failed to notice that it was set for manual focus – but I thought that it was on auto focus. Fortunately, it was set on the hyperfocal length and I was shooting in “F8 and don’t be late” mode. So, the images are not as tack sharp as I would like, but they are in no way a total loss.

Mr C seems to be having more pain in the armpit area. Guess the nerve cells finally realized what happened and they are yelling WTF????

The newest version wordpress seems to have a few issues. Fortunately I can sort of deal with it.

We went to see the Big Cancer Doc this morning. As expected, he wants Mr C to go see the Radiation Doc. He also allowed as how there is no real evidence that radiation actually works against metastatic squamous cell cancer. Scheduled to see the Radiation Doc NEXT Friday.

I am not as optimistic as I was earlier this week. I think the protective cloak of denial is slipping. Life is uncertain. We play the hand we are dealt. But, hey, I am counting on a few more good days, weeks, months, maybe even years.

I am sure glad that this is “our house”. Because, it is very nice to not have to worry about raking all these very very very fine leaves.

Carlton went to see his “oral surgeon” today. I view this as a good sign vis-a-vis his mental state. One doesn’t go see an oral surgeon if one is planning on dying any time soon. Tomorrow we go off to see the “big cancer doc”. We should have a better handle on options after that visit.

BTW: We were invited to a memorial service for a cat this evening. Cat – felis domesticus – house cat. Here kitty kitty.

Free is good. I didn’t find any serious negative reports about Mavericks. (They will come out tomorrow!). So, backed up the Airness, downloaded Mavericks, installed Mavericks, backed up the Airness. No clean install – just put it right over Mountain Lion. The only problem was finding a place to download it. My snail internet said it would take 1 day and 21 hours. Pretty much a non-starter. I dug up a LAN cable and usb adapter and went in search of bandwidth. Found some in the management office. Hello, can I borrow 6 gig of internet? Anyhow, it took 30 minutes to download and another 30 to install. Mavericks is supposed to increase battery life – but it seems to me that it does that by dimming the display and “key lights”. I have 5 or 6 more gig of free space after installation. This is good. And, Finder is vastly improved by Tabs. Also, the calendar looks more stylish. Notes are cleaner – but I sort of miss the yellow note pad effect. There might be changes to safari or mail – but I don’t use either of these. I am a Google/Gmail woman. I don’t usually do system updates – but this one doesn’t seem to have adversely impacted the old hardware. And free is good.

Carlton had stitches out from his “little cancer surgery” of two weeks ago today. I week for a stroll around the neighborhood checking out all things autumn. Life is good – for today.

Still just doing it one day of denial at a time. I have convinced myself that we are going to get out of this alive.

I was reminded that I really don’t need an iPad. Having a perfectly fine iPod Touch. And a much loved Kindle. (Not the Fire – an book reader only).

Will let a little time go by – and I’ll check on printer drivers – then I’ll install Mavericks on the Airness. Free is good. As a stock holder – I have to wonder why is it free. Free is not always good!

I am in full denial mode. Mr C is going to be fine – for the next couple of years – IF – BIG IF – he does the radiation thing.  Denial is good.

One of Carlton’s friends dropped off 3 baked sweet potatoes this morning. A very unusual – but tasty – get well remembrance. The sweet potato is a folk remedy for asthma, bug bites, burns, catarrh, ciguatera, convalescence, diarrhea, dyslactea, fever, nausea, renosis, splenosis, stomach distress, tumors, and whitlows (Duke, J.A. and Wain, K.K. 1981. Medicinal plants of the world).

Think I need some major retail therapy. Possibilities:

Smartphone.
iPad Mini.
Used Fujifilm X100.

I could have a Nexus smartphone and an iPad mini for the cost of a used X100. But, I sort of like all of the lovely Apple-ish togetherness business.  OTOH – I like my gmail. New iPads tomorrow. New Nexus phones soon. And, I don’t exactly need another camera – especially a quirky fixed length one.

Gracias a la vida, que me ha dado tanto. *

Nothing to report. We are both tired. Mostly, I guess from all of the stress of the last couple of weeks. But still living in our happy little self-constructed bubble of denial. “This might not be SO bad. We might wrest a couple more good years from the grim reaper.”

I guess we are progressing through Kubler-Ross’s 5 Stages after all. Right now we are in Stage 1 – Denial. Except I already did Stage 4 – Depression. And Carlton aced the Stage 5 – Acceptance thing.

* Violeta Parra – Thank you to life, which has given me so much. 

A sort of normal Saturday. We are still being foolishly optimistic. Mr C is starting to consider the maybe remote possibility of radiation. This is a small step in the “right” direction. Or not.

I did some retail therapy today. I got four undershirts from Goodwill. I don’t have any winter clothes. And if we stay here so Carlton can get nuked … I am going to need a few extra layers. 

Thanks to everyone for the food, flowers, booze (for the caregiver), and for the love and good wishes.

 

“Now I understand that one of the important reasons for going to college and getting an education is to learn that the things you’ve believed in all your life aren’t true, and that nothing is what it appears to be.”*

Flowers for Carlton

Will Mr C end up in a Velveeta Cheese Box buried in the backyard? Nope, we don’t have a back yard.

I choose to be optimistic (today). The operation report and the PET scan narrative arrived today. Operation report describes “intensive metastasis”. But, the PET scan report says the brain, liver, kidneys all the lower stuff is fine. And he has “diffuse atherosclerosis”. The PET scan sounds OK to me. The bad stuff is sort of localized. And, the diffuse atherosclerosis means he might win a fatal heart attack before the cancer gets him.

I have another week to open his mind to the possibility of radiation.

Waiting for the lunar eclipse.

*Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon

Every now and again a street musician sets up shop downstairs by our metro entrance. Today we a have a steel drum…The guy is very good.

The Nightly Carlton Report: No news is no news. No news expected until next Friday.

OK, here is the deal. Carlton has become a pro at surgery. Yesterday, when they called me in my office to come and take Carlton home – they said “He is in his regular room”. You know you have a problem when you have a “regular room” in your hospital’s OR department! Room 27. It is a good room, near the coffee pot.

He doing fine vis-à-vis recovering from the surgery. He went somewhere on the bus today and rode his bike. When you are in the “enjoy every sandwich” time of your life – this was a good day.

When Mr C ended up with sepsis after one of his earlier surgeries one of his doctor’s looked at me and asked “Who do you want to be your ID consult?” Fortunately, I knew she was asking what infectious disease doctor did I want to use. More fortunately, I actually knew an infectious disease doctor. Well this time this surgeon sicked a “Oncology Navigator” on Mr. C. Methinks he will pass on that – what ever it is. He was also told to pick out a radiation oncologist.

I think we should just go to Japan. Carlton can go stand outside the Fukushima reactor. And I can soak in a nice onsen.

There will be no news until next Friday. Unless the wheels fall off before then.

“He wants to be the bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral, and the baby at every christening.”*

After taking on a couple of cups of coffee and a bowl of red lentil soup, Mr C went out to supervise the construction site in the next block.

The surgeon is “very concerned” about Carlton’s prognosis. (But, hey, at our age – how much prognosis do we have anyhow?) But just for now… we will concentrate on recovering from today’s surgeries. Carlton is having very little pain. He can not talk very well – the tube they put down your throat during anesthesia always causes him problems. My blood pressure has returned from the stratosphere.

*Alice Roosevelt Longworth about her father Theodore Roosevelt. That would be Carlton too.