life in the old lane

Your eyes get droopy, the hair gets thin and wild simultaneously, your ankles threaten to puff up like balloons at the drop of a hat, and the skin loses interest in keeping the body sealed shut. Leaks in the epidermis appear for no apparent reason. 

And, these are the warning shots. Far worse shit lurks just around the corner.

Clothes for the April Trip

1. 1. 1. Dorky rain hat and rain poncho. (The rain pants didn’t make the cut)
      2. Two sets of underwear.
      3. Two pairs of wool sox.
      4. Allbirds. They may not go. depends on final weight.
      5. One T-shirt
      6. One long sleeve T-shirt
      7. Joggers
      8. Shorts
      9. Long sleeve shirt
      10. Light pullover sweater
      11. Light jacket
      12. Scarf
      13. Hi-top Allbirds
      14. Cashmere Hoodie (recently mended)
      15. T-shirt
      16. Undies and compression sox.
      17. Convertible hiking pants.
      18. Last minute addition – very light windbreaker.

Items 1-11 go in the tote bag. 14, 15, and 18 will also be in the tote depending on the weather. 13-17 will be on Old Peg.  

Nice little storm this afternoon. I like storms. I fear that the storm made our dining patio too wet to use, however. 

I am in pre-packing mode. When I question everything that goes into my pack. Never mind that I made a perfectly fine packing list a week ago. Now I am in questioning mode.

• • • • Do I really need two warmish baselayer tops? No.
      • Do I need that red tee shirt? No.
      • Should I take a little power strip? Don’t Know.
      • Maybe make the trip really lo-tech and just take my phone and Kindle and leave the watch and iPad at home? Maybe.
      • Make it super low-tech and leave the Kindle at home too?  No, not happening.
      • Must I take an extra pair of shoes? Only if I want dry feet.
      • Must I take rainpants? Don’t Know.

My Northwest Passage trip told me that rainpants are mandatory.  But this trip seems to involve wine and antique cars. Also “charming farm animals”.  Thinking the rainpants stay home this time.

These are great problems to have when you are 79 going on dead! Thank you, Cliff.  And you too, Carlton. 

My solution to the unacceptable food here at the Asylum is to have salmon and some veggies every night. It’s healthy. And they usually cook salmon OK.  It is sort of Carlton’s approach to food. Food just fuels the body so the body can do stuff. I consider food a sensual pleasure.  This really sets me up for disappointment. BigTime. I can not change the food. I tried. But, I can change myself. 

One of the questions you are supposed to ask when doing your own “death cleaning” is:  “Will anyone be happier if I save this?” 

Answer: Nobody needs my grandmother’s Eastern Star Cookbook.

Before consigning it to the recycle bin – let’s give it one last look. There are 10 recipes for “salads and vegetables”. 5 use at least one box of Jello. 4 contain marshmallows. 

I ended up with that #6 cast iron skillet. And, I found it a good home before moving to The Asylum. 

In the back of the book, there is this rather terrifying veggie cooking chart.

It also explains why Carlton wanted his green beans cooked until they were gray beans. 

But, gotta give these ladies props.  The last page of the book explains what you need to serve ham dinner to 225 of your closest friends.

No muss no fuss. Need to feed 250 people. How many of us would have a clue where to start?  These were tough old broads wearing their pearls, stockings, sensible shoes, and aprons making turkey dinner for 250. 

The other “death cleaning” question is; “Will I ever need this again?”.   Nope. 

But, at 91°, they aren’t going to stay cute and baby-size long.

Wonder what kind of ferns MidJourney comes up with. Better ones than mine, I am willing to bet.

Today’s big event here at The Asylum was our semi-annual informational briefing by the Chairman of the Board of Trustees and the CEO of the Asylum.  Let’s say, if bullshit were electricity, then our CEO would be a powerhouse. 

The CEO proudly announced that he and the COO were both alumni of Erickson Senior Living which had the largest bankruptcy ever in the history of Old Folks Homes about 15 years ago. And this is supposed to make me feel good? Well, I sure hope they learned something along the way. But, the Asylum just has to last as long as my friends and I last.

Nope! I like my real ferns better. Score one for Mother Nature.

 

I actually accomplished stuff today. I cleared out my major mess accumulation areas. The kitchen counter. The coffee table. The desk. And the origami dojo. The black cashmere hoodie was mended – good enough. Good enough for a couple more trips. 

And I made a little video message for a friend. I don’t like making video messages. But it’s not always all about me and what I want. Or don’t want.

Summer seems to have arrived. It was 85 today. And the same is expected tomorrow. 

Still boring. Sorry. 

8 days and I’ll be off on the Spring Adventure. 2 Planes. 3 Trains. 3 hotels.  1 Boat. 19 days.

Today the Asylum had an “Armed Intruder” drill. I figured it was going to be annoying so, I left the building. 

I wandered into a discount shoe store. Who knew they made pink and blue Doc Martens?

Not only do they make pink and blue Doc Martens, but even MidJourney knows how to make pink and blue Doc Martens.

I actually thought it would make two-tone shoes. Or maybe a pink and blue pattern shoe. But, it made a pair.

And that’s about it for this little old lady today. I am getting pretty boring, aren’t I?  I am even boring myself. 

 

Didn’t actually accomplish anything today. But, I did not upgrade myself to first class on the trip to Denver. And I did not buy a lime green see-through suitcase for the “excellent” price of $289.

Rimowa made these things in pink and green around 2018 and sold them for about 2K a pop.

I saw one in TJ Max today for $289. It was hard to pass up. I had to talk myself out of it. It is a regular size roll aboard, which is huge for me. Figured I could take it on the upcoming trip. And on the Northwest Passage. And to Kona on Halloween. That would get my money’s worth. But, I am old. 

And when you get really old, like me, the “Buying for Life” concept gets shaky. Old women don’t purchase copper stock pots. So getting a killer price on a silly Rimowa suitcase doesn’t work for me.  It will be me and my backpack on this year’s travels.

So today is mostly about what I didn’t do. I did discover that my much used black hoodie has worn through the elbows. As has my equally loved flannel shirt. How did this happen?  I don’t have many clothes – and to have two items die at the same time leaves me needing to do some serious thrifting.  But, I am pretty sure that any black hoodie or flannel shirt that I do buy will be a “Buy for Life” purchase.

Not sure which one I like the best. Think I like MidJourney’s best.

Another note from the distant edge of life. A couple of politicians came to visit us old people today. (Hey, we vote. For all the good it does.) One of the residents jacked the pols up about getting cracking on assisted suicide legislation. He more or less said, “not in your lifetime people”. 

Let us try gratitude for Easter. 

Gratitude

---

• • • • Most grateful – my besties are still on the green side of the grass.
      • Tomorrow – after three years The Asylum becomes “mask-optional” for all except those on the nursing unit.
      • Chocolate cake. And Mimosas. 
      • Après Easter Brunch Nap.

---

Well, Carlton, I hope you don’t mind, but today I sent your little book to Bob. You never told me what to do with it. And it might help Bob with the hand he was recently dealt. 

It is a tiny little book. But it was huge for you.  It was important to me. And, it went to where it might be helpful.

Surprisingly, sending the little book along to a new owner was a little pleasure for me and something to check off on my Unfinished Objects and Obligations list. 

Playing with MidJourney and its anime version.

Don’t forget that the Japanese are totally into cute. And, I am not sure that there is a good concept of easter. Heck, I always had trouble with the easter bunny and chicken eggs and the whole religious thing. These rabbits seem to be delivering easter persimmons. Or maybe oranges. 

Happy Easter and Enjoy a Chocolate Bunny. Or two.

Today, I made it through all the paperwork. The death cleaning paperwork. And, I resisted the almost overwhelming urge to scan things before shredding. So, I get to check a big one off of my Unfinished Objects list.

Got an interesting email from the Northwest Passage trip. I had to attest that I can stand on one foot for 10 seconds. Also on the other foot for 10 seconds. And, how much booze do I consume in a week? Well, it depends on the week, doesn’t it? I consume enough booze in a week. Enough. 

I promised to send this oldie to a couple of people. It’s always good for a giggle.

I like my foto better. But, if I needed a picture of a tulip and was too lazy to find one – MidJourney gets it done. 

It doesn’t seem like much, but I continue slogging through stuff here in the Old Bat Cave. Today was devoted to “important” papers. They must be “important” because I have saved them for a long time. Some from 3 residences ago.  I can see the end of the “important” papers project. There are damn few important dead tree papers these days.  

Another warm day. With thunderstorms waiting to spring. 

Enjoying the nice warm weather. That was my main accomplishment today. But, I did THINK about my Unfinished Objects. And about my upcoming trip.

I hope that the trip is as good as MidJourney imagines.

ChatGPT Packing List

ChatGPT: packing list for old woman going on a 7 day boat trip from clarkston to portland in late april

Sure, here’s a packing list for an old woman going on a 7-day boat trip from Clarkston to Portland in late April:

• • • Comfortable clothing: Pack lightweight, comfortable clothes that are suitable for the weather conditions in late April. This could include long-sleeved shirts, pants, shorts, and a light jacket.
    • Layered clothing: Temperatures can fluctuate on a boat trip, so be sure to pack clothes that can be layered to accommodate changing weather conditions.
    • Comfortable walking shoes: Pack a comfortable pair of walking shoes for onshore excursions.
    • Hat and sunglasses: Protect yourself from the sun with a hat and sunglasses.
    • Sunscreen: Protect your skin from harmful UV rays by packing sunscreen.
    • Insect repellent: Depending on the location, insects can be a problem, so consider packing an insect repellent.
    • Medications: Pack any necessary medications in their original containers, along with a copy of the prescription.
    • Toiletries: Bring personal hygiene items, such as a toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, soap, and other items you may need.
    • Hand sanitizer: A small bottle of hand sanitizer can come in handy when you’re away from facilities.
    • Camera: Capture memories by bringing a camera to document your trip.
    • Travel pillow and blanket: Comfortable bedding is often limited on boats, so consider bringing a travel pillow and blanket for a good night’s sleep.
    • Books or e-reader: Bring along some reading material for relaxation during downtime.
    • Cash and credit cards: Be sure to bring enough cash and credit cards to cover any expenses on the trip.
    • Binoculars: Pack a pair of binoculars to get a better view of the scenery.
    • Water bottle: Stay hydrated by bringing a refillable water bottle.
• This list should help ensure a comfortable and enjoyable trip for an old woman going on a 7-day boat trip from Clarkston to Portland in late April.

Bard Packing List

Well, let’s ask Bard.  packing list for old woman going on a 7 day boat trip from clarkston to portland in late april

Here is a packing list for an old woman going on a 7 day boat trip from Clarkston to Portland in late April:

• • Clothes:
    • 7-10 pairs of underwear
    • 7-10 pairs of socks
    • 3-4 pairs of pants
    • 3-4 skirts or dresses
    • 5-6 shirts or blouses
    • 1-2 sweaters or cardigans
    • 1-2 jackets
    • 1 raincoat
    • 1 swimsuit
    • 1 pair of pajamas
    • 1 robe
  • Shoes:
    • 1 pair of comfortable walking shoes
    • 1 pair of sandals or flip-flops
    • 1 pair of dress shoes
  • Toiletries:
    • Toothbrush and toothpaste
    • Shampoo and conditioner
    • Soap or body wash
    • Razor and shaving cream (if needed)
    • Deodorant
    • Makeup (if desired)
    • Hairbrush and hair ties
    • Sunscreen
    • Insect repellent
    • First-aid kit
  • Other items:
    • Sunglasses
    • Hat
    • Camera
    • Book
    • Journal
    • Pen or pencil
    • Snacks
    • Water bottle
    • Umbrella
    • Passport (if needed)
    • Travel insurance (optional)

This is just a general list, and you may need to add or subtract items depending on your specific needs and preferences. For example, if you are planning on doing a lot of hiking or walking, you may want to pack more comfortable shoes. Or, if you are prone to getting cold, you may want to pack more warm clothes.

It is also important to pack light, as you will be carrying your luggage with you on the boat. Try to pack only essential items, and avoid packing anything that you will not need.

Finally, be sure to pack your belongings in a sturdy suitcase or duffel bag that is easy to carry. You may also want to consider packing a small carry-on bag for items that you will need during the day, such as your toiletries, snacks, and water bottle.

Think I’ll dig out Peg’s Universal Packing List! And, if I were grading the answers. ChatGPT did better.