life in the old lane

Seems like spring has arrived in the neighborhood.

Chipped away at my taxes this afternoon. Hope to get it first cut done by tomorrow evening. Then I can attack Mr C’s. Get it to first cut done. And then, when I have some notion of what the size of the problem is, make a plan for “going forward”.

On a happier note… Just because I can, I am going to travel to far distant Maryland on public transit later this afternoon. According to Google, it should take one hour and two minutes to get where I want to be on Metro and foot. We’ll see. Google says I could get there in one hour and 10 minutes by car. So, I don’t see as how renting a zipcar makes any sense.

The first two pictures on My Snow Day were taken from this park, which I can see from my terrace. No more snow – a good sign of spring.

I sort of got back with the chipping away at my stuff to do program today. Think I made some progress on my taxes, I sent out some thankyou/carlton is dead/belated Xmas cards. And, I did another drawer in the Arc of the Covenant.

Oh, I almost forgot – I friend called this afternoon and she left me with this little nugget: “I don’t say no, I let others tell me no”. I am pretty bad about telling myself “They are just going to tell me no, so why bother” – I should make them actually tell me know.

 



Fortunately, I have a really nice ledge to jump off from, if the paperwork gets too bad. Let us just say, I had to dig out records from my broker from way back to 2009. And, that was for my taxes, the “easy” one.  I worked hard, but made zero progress. 

But, I did get an appointment with my attorney to setup my end game. And, an appointment to review my options at the old  ladies asylum. 

Note to Carlton: you are the only one who  would care, and you woul say “I am impressed”.  Fitbit says that I have walked 1,600 miles in the last eleven months.  That’s not too shabby for a 70something old woman. 

Cold, rainy, foggy here. 

Went out looking for spring this afternoon. Didn’t find any flowers – but I did find at robin at the Nature Conservancy HQ. Also, my resident starlings have returned to the nest hole in my balcony wall.

Made no progress on anything today. Well, I did go back to “work” and I knocked a couple of things off the 2Do list they had for me – but I didn’t manage anything that I had on my personal 2Do List. Oh well, I’ll just cross off Monday and insert Tuesday and try again tomorrow.

However, I did cook (and nap) this afternoon. Butternut squash with tomatoes and some veggie meatballs. And, I discovered a forgotten bottle of wine. So, a fine dinner is on tap.

After a rather unpleasant morning of getting ready to get ready to do taxes, I decided to go on a quest. For spring. Spring was still buried under the snow. Except in one sunny lawn. The crocuses were out and so were the bees. Can you just imagine how happy the bees must be. (And isn’t English a silly language “the bee must be”?)

Today’s drawer was mostly paper. Not used paper. Just paper. Tablets. I know that one of the tablets belonged to my starter husband. That tablet would be almost 50 years old. And a whole bunch of pens, ball point and felt tip. Also pencils, wood ones and mechanical. Needless to say most of the pens were dried up and the erasers didn’t erase any longer. First, I was going to save the two “good” ball point pens. But, I don’t like ball point pens. Never did. So, upon reflection they went into the donate box.

Last evening, I was a little sad – well, more than a little sad. But, just before I went off to bed – a glorious moon appeared. How could I be sad? (Click on it – it is big, Not good, just big.)

 

Google puts a little special header on your search page, if it knows when your birthday is – and google knows everything. That is kinda cute.

Your friends and family, both real and virtual put greetings on your Facebook timeline. The iPad chimes happily all day.

Starbucks and others want you to have good day and they try to lure you into their shops by promising free stuff.

But, all you youngsters out there – and that would be anyone who isn’t old enough for medicare – medicare emails you the absolute worst birthday greeting ever.

“Hello old fart: Since it is your natal day – come on down and get obesity counseling, a colonoscopy, a mammogram, alcohol misuse screening, …” By the time you are my age you should know how to use alcohol. Select beverage, open beverage, consume beverage, repeat as needed.

This is what Medicare thinks I should have tested. High intensity behavioral counseling? WTF is that? It is enough  to insure I ace the Depression Screening.

Chipped away at my piles of paper and stuff today.

Today’s drawer was easy. I hoped the directions for the vacuum would show up. The directions for his answering machine showed up. I looked at the answering machine and whoops – 21 messages. Listen, delete, repeat. Listen, delete, repeat. Listen, delete, repeat.

No, I don’t miss Carlton today more than any other day. He always gave me a Hershey Bar. I love the man dearly, but he was one cheap bugger. He did, however, run the vacuum, do the dishes and clean the bathroom. Oh, and wash the windows.

Started to make some real progress on my (1) Widow woman work and (2) Paperwork/mail that piled up while I was in Hawai’i today. Think I am almost over jetlag and almost used to being in the apartment alone.

Finally opened up all the mail that was piled up. Nothing bad. Nothing time critical. And, as I mentioned earlier – a surprise check. I even opened the mail addressed to Carlton Combs (Deceased).

While sorting stuff this morning – I needed something that I thought was in Carlton’s Desk AKA The Arc of the Covenant. I thought it might be in one of the drawers. So, I completely processed all the stuff in the drawer that I felt was the most likely location of the required papers. I didn’t find the papers. But – I have completely cleaned out one of the drawers. And, I found Carlton’s missing marbles.

Since Carlton has been dead for 5 months – I figured it would be OK to check out his wallet. I shredded everything – except the $14. There was $3.94 and 1 bus token in his oldman change purse. I was ready to let Carlton take me out to lunch today with that $17.94 – but it was about 22 degrees. Fish chowder from my freezer seemed to be a better idea.

A good friend suggested that I should just “chip away” at everything that needs doing. As far as the “stuff” goes – I think this is a good idea. I did one desk drawer today. In that drawer, I found a little box with a pocket watch that seems to have belonged to his maternal grandfather, some pocket watch “chains”, and what I can only call “pocket watch charms”. I saved that box for future processing – everything else was either shredded or pitched.  And, I think this will be the way to get through the stuff – do a small chunk everyday. But, do it completely. No moving stuff from Pile A to Pile B.

It started snowing at about 8AM and it is just now stopping (5PM). Think we had 5 to 6 inches around the apartment. Problem is – it is supposed to be about 10 degrees tonight. But, it will start warming up nicely on Saturday. Might not go out walking tomorrow – I have gotten old enough to worry about slipping on ice. A dear friend slipped on ice a couple of winters ago. Hit his head. And died.

I opened some of the mail today. No surprises. Just LOTS of mail. I got a check for $62. That was sort of a bonus for opening mail. There are some Xmas cards from people who didn’t get the word that Carlton died – so, I’ll have to send out some more of those “Carlton Cards”. And there is all that stuff that says “Tax Documents” or “Carlton Combs (Deceased)” – haven’t opened any of them. Maybe tomorrow.

Opening mail was about my only accomplishment today. That doesn’t seem like much of an accomplishment, does it? Gotta pick up the pace.

No new photos today – but – if – the promised snow arrives tomorrow – there will be photos. Heck, I might even go out in the snow. Or I might not. Or it might not snow at all.

Not as “lonely” this evening. Getting into a routine I guess. I walked down to Clarendon this afternoon. Checked out Apple Store, Whole Foods and Trader Joe. It was chilly but not cold. Misty, but not really wet.

Re-entry: I didn’t do much. I looked at all the mail that had piled up. Well, I looked at the envelopes. I only opened the junk mail. I didn’t feel up to opening anything that said “Tax Document” or “Carlton Combs (Deceased)”. Maybe tomorrow. Or not.

While on the way to Kona – I did entered some thoughts about my mental state in the computer and put them in the blog on November 1

I did the same thing on the Seattle to Kona leg of the trip back to Arlington.

Here are my notes:

Well, here it is about 9AM. I am flying from Seattle back to Arlington. It is 12PM there and exactly 5 months ago today – I came home from work around 1PM and found Carlton, very dead. 

Funny, I flew to Kona exactly 4 weeks after Carlton died and will be coming back 5 months after that day. When I was flying out to Kona, I reflected on Carlton’s death, my reactions, and our life together.

Some reflections on “what now”.

• I am doing great – I might not be doing great after I get back to the apartment and face whatever has to be done. But, at 30,000 feet – I am doing great.
• Years ago, a geriatric social worker told me that your 70’s is a very hard decade. You go into your 70’s as an older version of yourself but you come out of your 70’s as a really old person. I believe this. Carlton didn’t get out of his 70’s. 
• I know it have to move to some sort of an old ladies asylum when the apartment lease runs out. I don’t want to do this, but nothing else makes sense. Too many things can go wrong when you are in your 70’s. Physically and mentally, I am never going to be any better than I am right now. Emotionally, I might improve. But, I will not be getting stronger, faster, healthier or smarter. So, while I still have it together – I have to move myself to an old ladies asylum. But, where?
• But where – is something I need to think long and hard about and maybe make some site visits. 
• Real soon, I will have to address the income tax issue. 
• Also soon, need to get my own estate issues sorted out and a new improved will drawn. If I die before getting this done the Arlington County Library and Hulihe’e Palace will be very happy. I don’t think they need to be THAT happy.
• And, I am going to do a major downsizing. Carlton and I did that when we sold the house. But, we added new stuff in over the last 10 years. Major downsizing.
• The objective is to move into the smallest unit in the old ladies asylum. When Carlton and I were going to be moving in together, we were looking for a place as big as the apartment. But, I neither need nor want 2 bedroom and 2 bathrooms. I don’t especially want any bedroom. A nice sunny studio would be great. If I have “space” I’ll just fill it up. I have seen me do that in the past.
• I have always had minimalist leanings – but they sort of developed this winter. I was very happy in my hotel room. I would have liked a nice lounge chair. I don’t really need much of a kitchen. I never entertained and I am not about to start now. 
• This major downsizing will be interesting.
• I think I have figured out “how to eat”. Finally realized that when you live alone – you can eat whatever you want to eat whenever you want to eat it. I give myself too much credit – several people had to tell me that.
• Also, I think I have broken my addiction to the likes of “lean cuisine” and frozen mac&cheese. We’ll see how this works out – after I get back to Arlington. And don’t have access to endless free avocado and papaya and great ahi that was still swimming in the ocean yesterday. I am guessing that chicken can replace ahi – except chicken will have to be cooked,  tomatoes can replace avocado and strawberries followed by peaches can replace papaya. 
• This whole figuring out what to eat was hard. Carlton and I never ever ate out. So, for 30 plus years I cooked two meals a day and had cereal, toast, fruit whatever available for breakfast. Oh yes and snacks. Carlton loved his snacks. “Do we have anything sweet?” And, he didn’t mean a peach or some yogurt – was a regular Carlton question.  And Carlton liked his meals sort of “normal”. Couldn’t pass off a bowl of cereal as “dinner” on that man. 
• I have to figure out how to run Carlton’s vacuum sweeper. Soon. Maybe that is one of my first chores back at the apartment. 
• Considered the possibility of a new “relationship”. I am not saying “No way No how”. I am saying “Damn unlikely”. Why? I don’t want to go through the last 27 months again with another man. And also important – a slight variation on the Alaska saying “The odds are NOT good and the goods are odd”.
• For all that has been – thanks. For all that shall be – yes. (Dag Hammarskjöld)

 

Above, today’s sunset. Nope, I didn’t go out on my terrace. It is covered with ice. The Potomac river is frozen. There are piles of dirty snow everywhere.

I got  back fine.  The plane landed at 4pm and by 4:45 I was in the lobby of the apartment building. The metro goddess was looking out for me.

This is the first time in decades that I have come back from a trip when Carlton was neither with me nor waiting for me.  A little sad period ensued. In fact, it is pretty damn lonely around here. I wasn’t “lonely” what ever that means in Kona – at least not after the first month. Oh well. Another “adjustment”

The apartment is fine. But, there are piles of stuff to be done.  All I am doing tonight is washing my wetsuit. Everything else will wait until tomorrow or the day after.

A bubble bath, some soup, and more reading. I think that is the plan for the rest of today.

Note to Carlton-I have lots of lights on. Kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedroom and laundry room all lit up. And, the clocks are still all set to daylight savings time and I am not going to change any of them.



So far, so good. Plan on drinking coffee, reading, napping and eating a sandwich  and a couple of cookies. Over the next four hours or so. 

Another iPad photo. 



Well, it is about 9pm and I am safely through tsa and I am waiting. I will be waiting for something for the next 16 hours.

The above photo  was taken with this iPad this evening.. I felt like a real dork.  But, the camera was all packed.   And I needed to save the last Kona sunset. 

Time to fire up the kindle.  Let the waiting begin.