Category: The DayBook

An altogether fine day. Cool, cloudy, windy, damp. All the locals were loving it. Got out our sweaters, hot cocoa, soup etc. The visitors were not so enchanted. The village was stuffed absolutely stuffed with visitors today. Hope they were spending money.

I saw my first whale of the winter today. My long held, but completely unscientific view is that whales like windy weather. No pictures. Maybe I need a longer lens???

All things considered, my decision to come to Kona as Carlton and I had planned has worked out well for me. My brain – which I now realize had been on the fritz for the last two years is starting to function again. I didn’t know that my brain had been off line. But, it had. The heart is more complicated.

 

Interesting weather today. Big surf. Big surf on our island isn’t huge more like 8 to 12 footers. And the wind was howling around – so it wasn’t good for surfing. 95 mph winds predicted for our “higher elevations”. Also snow. We’ll see if that happens. I didn’t really go swimming today. I bounced around in the ocean. Sort of like being in a washing machine. It was fun.

Today, I processed my big pile of paperwork that I got on Saturday afternoon. Some stuff needed attention. Everything has been taken care of – except for the thank-you notes. I’ll do them tonight.

Starting to feel more settled. Since I had 22 months of grieving before Carlton died – I think it is time for me to be more settled. This will be a dangerous time for me. Because I will want to “get things done”. Things that don’t need doing yet or at all.

I am also starting to feel better about moving to an old folks asylum. The plus side of  moving to the one that Carlton and I picked out is I am really sure of it’s quality and financial stability. I am sure there are fine asylums in other cities – but – I wouldn’t have the same warm fuzzy feeling that they would “take care of me” when I can no longer take care of me. I am “too young” to move to an old folks asylum. But, I am also energetic enough to do the move. Also, these places require a big chunk of non refundable entrance fee money. Moving in sooner means I get more for my money. And, frankly the monthly fees are no more than I am paying for rent. The only thing I’ll be giving up is my killer view and great location. My lease ends in April 2016.

Wishing everyone the best of the festive season – no matter what it’s called at your house. In pagan traditions, the solstice is a time to put away the things of the old year and look forward to the new. One observance of the solstice involves extinguishing all the fires in your home before midnight on the eve of the solstice and lighting a new fire the next day. This probably won’t be quite as symbolic if you have central heating.

The winter solstice falls on December 21 – the word solstice means “sun stopping.” The winter solstice is the day on which the sun reaches as far south of the equator as it gets, and is as such the shortest and darkest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. The solstice marks the rebirth of light for the coming spring.

The winter solstice also marks, among other things, the druid festival of Alban Arthuan – a time for bestowing gifts upon those less fortunate than ourselves. Out of this observance has grown the more popular tradition of gift-giving, Black Friday, Super Saturday, maxed-out credit cards and 70% off sales. May the goddess be with you during this season – but don’t blame her if you get fruitcake again.

Those of you who are friends of Carlton and Bill Wilson – know about Carlton’s famous “little book”. I am sure that Carlton would have told me what to do with the little book if he had known just how near the end was. I have the book. And look at it on a regular basis. On the Dec 21 page he underlined “I can face anything if I am sure I am on the way” and the marginalia reads 2013-CANCER. He was having daily radiation last December 21. Now, Carlton was not a religious a person. Whatever the way is/was it worked for him. I believe, for him the way was AA. For me the way is not so well defined. Nevertheless, this Yule season, I will remember the modern pagan blessing

I am grateful for that which I have.
I am not sorrowful for that which I do not.
I have more than others, less than some,
I am blessed with what is mine.

Well, Mr C is most likely spinning around in his drawer at the morgue at Georgetown. I was on my walk this morning and decided that I wanted breakfast. Eggs, rice, bacon, toast and coffee breakfast to be exact. Except for the bacon – I have all that stuff in my hotel room. But, did I come back up the my room and make my breakfast. Nope. I went to a real slow food restaurant and sat at a table and ordered breakfast. And, I left a nice fat tip. This was kind of a “declaration of independence” from 35 years of doing things the “Carlton Way”.

Note to Carlton: I know you always liked those silly college bowl games. Well, the Potato Bowl was on today. I did not watch. And, an update on the Redskins. They won today. I think this is the second game they have won since you moved to the next level. Sports wise, you ain’t missing much. Your old old tennis buddy, Mayor-for-Life Berry, he died too. He was 78. I don’t think he went to Georgetown – so you will not be seeing him around the campus.

On a more serious note – I got a bundle of mail from the apartment this afternoon. The first and most likely only shipment… Nothing looks serious. I just put things into stacks as I am wont to do. No reason to open up any envelope that might contain a problem that I can not do anything about until Monday – when I can at least call. But, nothing looks problematic or unexpected.

I know this theme doesn’t work with the large pictures – but – I still like it for a couple of days. And, I am too lazy to tweak it for just a week.

My thoughts are drifting into melancholy. Carlton was stolen from me 12 weeks ago.There is no one around to nag me about eating or telling me to “take it easy”. No one needing emails processed or online accounts checked. No one needing clean laundry or feeding. This is freedom that I am not sure I want. I sorely miss his cheerful presence and Pollyanna-ish conviction that everything will be fine.

We seem to be having more pesky sharks. So, today, I decided to do my part – I cooked up a nice big chunk of shark. Yellowfin tuna is up to $22 a pound. Shark is about $6 a pound. I adore yellowfin tuna – we call it ahi – I usually end up eating raw – like a cat. Shark – I like it cooked. Shark is seriously lacking in flavor – so I poached my chunk of shark in pineapple salsa. I enjoyed some shark along with leftover pasta and veggies. Got leftover shark now to go with my leftover pasta.

Today was supposed to be “Rest Day”. Well, I seem to have logged 4.8 miles on the Fitbit and I went for a 30 minute swim. I didn’t do any yoga. Maybe I’ll try to rest tomorrow!

Party Season is over for me. So, I fired up the rice cooker this noon. I cooked some pasta in the rice cooker. It worked fine. And I steamed some veggies while the pasta cooked. Made pasta and veggie with mango salsa for lunch – after yesterday’s carnivore feast veggies were a good idea. And, I have two meals of pasta and veggies stashed in the fridge. My favorite fish was up to $22 per pound today… So, I don’t think I’ll be adding fresh fish to my menu anytime soon.

Eleven weeks ago, Carlton was still “Enjoying Every Sandwich”. Looking back at the blog – I see that his last sandwich was fish fajitas. I guess if I had known – it would have been cheese burgers since that was his favorite. I am enjoying every sandwich for dinner tonight – cheese and avocado on English muffin.

I think I have “adapted” to being Carlton-less here in Kona. In many ways it is easier that the last two winters in Hawai’i have been. Now, that I am not worrying about Carlton 24/7 – Now, I realize how much energy and resources I expended on worrying about and carrying for Carlton. I treasure those two years and the time we had together. But, they were a hard two years.

I wonder how well I will do back in Arlington. Alone.

Does anyone else think that the “next” war will be fought in cyberspace and we just lost the first battle?

Hotel Xmas party was this afternoon. LOTS of great food. Lots of fine presents for the staff – and me too. This was a fine party for carnivores. I had ham, prime rib, turkey, chicken wings, and corned beef. And something cheese cakey. And rice. Not a fruit or veggie in sight. Take that healthy eating.

The most coveted door prizes were the TV’s and the cases of Kleenix and toilet paper. I got a lovely colorful print. For my new apartment in the old ladies asylum, maybe. Better start thinking about shipping it home already.

This ends my round of holiday parties.

Well, let’s see what did I do today? Darn little. Went beach walking and breakfasting with my friend Billy. Got some yogurt at Safeway. Made a bunch of origami stars out of dollar bills. They will make festive little tips and mini-gifts. Missed yoga because of beach walk and breakfast. But Billy was offering a ride to a beach that is out of my walking range. Not to be missed. I am sort of limited to a 3 mile radius or to where the bus goes. This beach is about 5 miles away and not on the bus route.

Hotel Xmas party for staff and the guests who never check in but never check out tomorrow. And, that will be the end of my festive party life. My beach and breakfast bud is going mainland for a month as well. It is most likely all for the best. I don’t want my weight to start going back up.

Starting to sort out my 2014 photographs. It is really hard – knowing that in 2015 there will be no Carlton photos. There will never be another Carlton photo. The “big” things don’t really hurt – it is the “little” things that cut to the bone. No more photos, no one to say “hey, come look at the whales”, no one who understands me better than I understand myself. No more center in my universe.

Still working my way through lots of pictures from the week end. I am VERY fond of decorated cement mixers. Carlton, you missed a fine parade. The best Kona Xmas Parade ever. Lots more floats. And tons of big trucks.

I went to tea at Carlton’s Palace today. Not enough chocolate. But, I guess that chocolate is not a traditional tea food. They did give us a big chocolatey muffin looking thing to take home. All in all it was rather charming. For two hours, I was a lady.

Went to the Palace Christmas concert late yesterday and had dinner afterwards. Pig and cabbage, saimin salad, rice, chicken katsu, sushi, macaroni salad, and cake. All your favorite local-kine food. Oh and beer. I brought some sushi home. Sushi and avocado will be tonight’s dinner.

Made origami ninja stars this afternoon to pass out at Hotel Party on Wednesday. Gotta make some more. Tomorrow is another day.

Fine day today so far. Went out for a sunrise beach walk and breakfast with a friend. Excellent eggs, coffee, home fries. Sunrise was good too.

Then I went walking to burn off the breakfast and to check out the surfing.

I really don’t have a long enough lens to photograph surfing. But, that never stops me from trying. I spent the last 2 hours deleting 450 of 461 surf photos. And, I started culling the parade photos.

Now, it is time to get dressed like a lady and go to the Xmas Concert at Carlton’s Palace. And then to the Palace Xmas dinner.

My favorite Xmas decorations so far. These are all the decorations. I did not crop out any additional festive items. And, it is in front of what used to be a church maybe it still is a church.

Lots happening in the village today. Shopping, canoe races, and the Christmas parade late this afternoon.

Today is 12/13/14 – don’t think a sequence like that will happen again this century – since next year is 15. Also, the Geminids Meteor Shower tonight. Too much urban light here in the village. I must make a trip to somewhere with dark sky.

I always like looking at gingerbread construction projects.

Ten weeks ago today. That is when my world changed. Carlton would not like for me to say it changed for the worse. That would be negative thinking – and he did not allow negativity in his world. But, it sure did change.

This being Hawai’i – I got a call shortly after 6AM asking if I wanted to go out to coffee, a walk and breakfast. Sure! Eggs, rice and Spam. Good local-kine breakfast. At The Fish Hopper. See yesterday’s post.

This is a great video that attempts to explain the Hawaiian devotion of SPAM. Check it out. Carlton adored SPAM. But only in Hawai’i. And Spam musubi was his favorite SPAM concoction.

After my swim this morning, I was drying off and warming up – when along came a couple of guys. Middle aged. Wearing matching Aloha shirts. A large Hawaiian man showed up and married the two guys. I wish everyone could have seen how happy the two men were. How pleased they were that a damp old woman was the first person to congratulate  them on their marriage. I hope they are as happy as Carlton and I were.

Only in Kona. Big front page article about local high school students spending the day at a McDonald’s “career day” event. I couldn’t decide if a job at MickieD was a good thing or a threat – as in this is where you will be working if you don’t go to college.