Accidental Selfie

Messing around setting up for fireworks
Messing around setting up for fireworks

Didn’t do much (read: anything) as far as minimizing goes today. It was a nice afternoon – so, I took a load of my stuff down to the Goodwill. Took a couple of pictures on the way back. Watched baseball opening day on TV – that interrupted my nap and our Nats lost. Only 161 more games to go. I watch baseball in April. Then I check in around the All Star Game. Then I ignore baseball again until September.

The ever so fragile Star Magnolia
The ever so fragile Star Magnolia

I am really going to miss this…

Yesterday - the full moon
Yesterday – the full moon and
the Cherry Blossom Fireworks
the Cherry Blossom Fireworks

Thank you Carlton, for insisting that we spend the big bucks for this super view. Well worth it. (The pictures are a little larger – click on them if you like)

Spent most of the day deacquisitioning. Carlton’s stuff isn’t hard. After all, he isn’t here to defend his stuff. My stuff – well – that is a whole different story. After all it is “my stuff”.

Carlton kept stuff because “We might need it someday” – yeah right – if we did need it we:

1. Wouldn’t remember we had it, or
2. Wouldn’t remember where we put it.

My problem is the Sunk Cost Fallacy. Like the madder shawl. Keeping the damn thing isn’t going to get my money back – it is a sunk cost. What part of sunk don’t I understand? BTW – the madder shawl made it to the Goodwill Mountain.

Carlton didn’t have a problem with sunk cost – because he never spent any money. But, boy did that man save crap. Today I found a tennis racket handle. Now, what was he going to do with that?

But the absolutely worst thing I found today was a “worn/used” adult diaper. Yes, he saved a used Depends. I can only hope that he is the one who wore it. No, it didn’t appear to have been, shall we say, soiled. But it had been worn. Women are supposed to be able to identify their mate’s dirty undies by scent. I didn’t try. I’ll trust science on that one.

Still Windy

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It is still way too windy to photograph flowers. Heck, it is even too windy to photograph statues! Well, maybe tomorrow.

I worked on minimizing my lifestyle to today, albeit the apartment may not look like it. Minimalizing sounds much more trendy than Downsizing. Or even worse Rightsizing. But, SSDN – Same Stuff Different Name (polite form).

Mostly in pursuit of my 5 miles per day, I loaded up my grocery cart with some of Mr C’s clothes and took them to the Goodwill. News Flash: If you don’t go into the Goodwill Store, you will not buy any more stuff to replace the stuff you just dropped off. I went into the grocery store instead. Since I had my grocery cart I outfitted it with a 12 pack of Sam Adams.

I addressed some of my stuff as well. As best as I can figure out – I did about $1,500 of retail therapy during Mr C’s last 9 months. Most of that was for my fine new camera. But, there were some outright mistakes. Things like a madder shawl – it is nice enough. But madder is not a color that works for me. I must remind myself that sunk costs are not recaptured, ever. And keeping the madder shawl around just might make me madder. Isn’t English a fine language? Anyhow, a non trivial amount of my stuff ended up on the Goodwill stack mountain. Nope, I do not feel one tiny bit guilty about my retail therapy. Cheaper than a shrink I think and safer than drugs.

Note to Carlton: I found the Rolex. It was right where you left it, in your top desk drawer. Now, maybe I should get it cleaned and get it a new band and wear it myself???

6 months and counting.

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RIP, Mr C

First things first. Tomorrow Morning. 0600 hours EDT. Check out the total lunar eclipse on SloothFriends in the Pacific – check it out in person.

Friday, October 3, I came home from work and found Carlton dead. Very dead.

It has been an “interesting” 6 months. My new will starts out…”I am now a widow.” That is my new identity. It sounds so serious – Widow. I am no more serious than I ever was. You need a sense of humor to venture into the world of widowhood.

I have made progress. I didn’t suffer from grief that paralysed me. My grief took the form of hyperactivity. The enforced inactivity of Kona – Kailua Coma as a friend calls it – helped. I am almost back to my normal sloth-like self. Carlton was always our family Energizer Bunny.

I hope – really hope – that all the mephitic paperwork is done. Pretty Please. Dear IRS, please like Carlton’s Tax Return.

A new normal has been established. I learned how to clean the toilet. How to sort of run the vacuum. How to feed myself.

Big task ahead is getting myself to the asylum. Which includes getting rid of Carlton’s stuff and downsizing. But, hey, I downsized once. I can do it again.

Damn – Sarah Brady just died. She was only 73. Nobody is promised tomorrow.

Windy but warm today.

Redbud
Redbud

Much too windy too take flower pictures today. But, that didn’t stop me. Sort of a do nothing day. Went to work. Returned from work. Ate lunch. Took long nap. Went out for flower pictures. Made some more origami bunnies. Did nothing about my messy apartment – or about actually trying to snag an apartment in the asylum.

April Fools Day and My Affairs (not that kind)

  For the last few years – April Fools Day was damn grim.

April Fools 2013 – I thought things were pretty grim on April 1, 2013. Waiting for Carlton’s operation. Had no idea how bad things were going to get.

April Fools 2014 – It seems that I was reading Mr C’s latest PET Scan. This was while he was losing a pound a day. He had a huge bump on top of his head. And We had never heard of Merkel Cell. The skin cancer that makes you wish you had melanoma.

April Fools 2002 – But, long ago – in 2002 – We were young and healthy. And I was learning Flash. It made a little take off on Mr Potato Head. I am too lazy to figure out how to imbed it into the WordPress structure. But it still lives on my server space. Go Play Mr CarltonHead.

As of now: My affairs are in order. My apartment is a mess. But, my affairs are in order. All documented on archival paper. Hopefully stapled with rust proof nickel copper staples. Locked away in my lawyer’s safe. Waiting for me to stop being me. I signed the documents this afternoon. Feeling good about this.

Am I going to cook my dinner tonight? I think not. I hear avocado and oranges calling my name. The makings of a really nice salad. So, I will not cook dinner. I will assemble dinner.

Today – My Junk

Carlton is not a dried rose.
Carlton is not a dried rose.

No, Carlton is not a dried rose. No need to keep it. Today, I attacked my smallkidtime desk. I remember getting the desk when we lived in Grays Hill Village in Fort Belvoir. Maybe I was in the 3rd or 4th grade. It had been a “dressing table” in officer’s quarters. Don’t know how Dad got it. Anyhow, that desk has followed me ever since. I don’t think it will make it to the old ladies home. It will become one more unloved piece of “brown furniture”. I haven’t used it as a “desk” in years. Mostly, it collects stuff. On the top and in the drawers. A little personal museum.

Stuff like a cut nail and a Minié ball. Anyone want them? I’ll mail them to you. Just ask.

Cut Nail and Minié ball (a real weapon of mass destruction)
Cut Nail and Minié ball (a real weapon of mass destruction)

I also use the desk as a piggy bank.

Various packages of foreign  currency.
Various packages of foreign currency.

I think I need to take a nice trip to use up my monies. It would be ashamed to die with a drawer full of Swiss Francs – or worse French Polynesian Francs.

Today's target.
Today’s target. Before.

It is much emptier now. But, it is still a piggy bank.

Note to Carlton: What happened to your Rolex watch? Did you lose it and not tell me? I know you wore one of my Timex watches the last year of your life. I took it off of you before you headed off to Georgetown. But, I haven’t found the Rolex. No biggie – but if you can figure out how to direct me to it – I’d be grateful. And, if you lost it – not to worry. Like you, it was good while it lasted.

Spring is Here, Flowerwise

The Daffodils Have Landed.
  The Daffodils Have Landed.

We have the flower part of spring. Now, maybe we can have some warm weather too.

Why can’t I learn? If I do about 30 minutes of yoga every day, my back is OK. (Well, maybe by evening I need 3 ibuprofen.) When I don’t do yoga – my back takes 12 or 16 ibuprofen every day and the back still hurts. How hard is it to do 30 minutes of yoga. Just put on the yoga pants, unroll the mat and fire up app, do a “class”, roll up the mat, put regular pants on. And you are done.

Today, I took the troublesome tax return to the post office. You better believe I sent it certified. I don’t want to hear from the IRS that they didn’t get the return. I know I should be doing something more today. But, I didn’t. Maybe one thing a day is enough? Well, I did review my new will, power of attorney, final arrangements and medical proxy documents. Going to the lawyer’s office Wednesday to sign everything.

Thinking that my cast iron skillets – which have been in service over 50 years – need a really good cleaning. Then, I might get rid of them. They are very heavy. I don’t see myself doing that much cooking and I am pretty sure they will be problematic with the glass top electric ranges at the Old Ladies Asylum. Wonder if anyone even uses cast iron any more?

An Interesting Day…

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It was an interesting day. I finished up my taxes and eFiled them. I finished up Mr C’s Taxes, eFiled them and got the above cheery email from TurboTax. Well, I did what they said and it got the same email again. Then, I called the IRS. The IRS automated system hung up on me. So, I decided F-it. Tomorrow, I’ll take the damn thing to to post office. When I was out on my walk, being me, I started imagining all manner of evil that this rejection might portend. Carlton called that “living with the wreckage of the future”.

And, I made another foray into Carlton’s desk and storage drawers today.

Note to Carlton: Your “I Love Me” book from your years at VT is in the dumpster. I quickly scanned some of the photos. I am too much of a photographer to just trash all of them.

EmmyDee in Spring 1953
EmmyDee in Spring 1953

This is Carlton’s First Wife, I am the Last Wife and I get to decide what happens to the stuff. This one is scheduled to go to the dumpster on May 1 along with all the other VT Carlton Photos. So, anyone wants it – put your order in now. Actually she was lovely. A true southern belle, bless her heart.

Note to Everyone: When you die, someone is going to put your stuff in the dumpster. DO IT YOURSELF. And stop hanging on to all that junk. Ever wonder what is going to happen to your college diplomas (unless you end up having a Presidential Library)?

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I’ll give you hint, these diplomas and slide rule are in the recycle box.

I promised to “take care of” the chrome plated bolt. I always knew it had something to do with Mr. C’s Master’s Thesis. Well, today I found the Master’s Thesis. I did not promise to take care of the thesis – So it too is in my recycle box.

The chrome plate bolt - now and ca 1960
The chrome plate bolt – now and ca 1960

There is more – but that is enough for one day. And next time I see my college diploma – if I still have it – that badboy will be in the trash!

Old Man Winter, you can leave anytime now…

Old Man Carlton-Doing living history in Yosemite ca 1995
Old Man Carlton-Doing living history in Yosemite ca 1995

Cold and windy here today. The snow was a no show however. So, that’s good.

Had zero interest in going outside – so, I got the taxes all reviewed. I just don’t have enough guts to file them. What’s the worse that can happen? Well, IRS problems sent Al Capone to Alcatraz. Not a happy thought. Hopefully, if I missed something/messed up/otherwise screwed up, I can play the bereaved widow card.

I did a tiny bit of work on Carlton’s stuff today. I must get cracking on this phase.

Wonder if I am going to get inspired about cooking dinner tonight? A variation on last night’s dinner. Using shaved brussel sprouts as the base rather than lettuce. Or maybe “just” a fried egg sandwich. I love fried egg sandwiches.

 

It’s Aloha Friday…

At the old airport - kona
At the old airport – kona

It’s Aloha Friday, no work till Monday… Well, at least no long distance far suburbs public transit runs. This afternoon – my first “free” afternoon of the week, I took a little nap and then made a leisurely walk down to Clarendon.

Tomorrow AM, it is supposed to be cold. Snow flurries. So, I plan to get both of our taxes all done. They have been “resting” on the window ledge all week.

Note to Carlton: You have been dead for over 6 months. But, you caused me enough trouble this week. I had to go see a lawyer, attend your Faux Funeral, check out apartments at the old ladies asylum, etc. And, tomorrow I am going to finish your taxes. You owe me! I’ll send you a bill.

I fixed myself a fine dinner. Lettuce, avocado, sugar snap peas. Sautéed chicken and tangerines. With some interesting orange vinegar. I am always pleased anytime I actually cook.

Thursday-Got it done

  

It’s 7:45 in the evening and rainy.  I just snapped a photo with the iPad and am doing this while riding home from far suburban Virginia. 

I went to a “viewing”.  Sans body.  Carlton love Janet Evanovich books. He was ever so glad when he got his kindle- then no one knew he was reading Janet Evanovich. I felt like grandma in those books. 

A very uneventful day. No problem with that. But I am more than a little weary of figuring out how to get to the distant ‘burbs by public transit. 

BTW I really like the data plan on the iPad. Money’s well spent.