OK, my story. Back in my early working days being the object of men behaving badly was a given. A cost of doing business. Like pantyhose. I never felt threatened by it. Mostly because I was usually the best coder in the house and the men knew it. You learned how to anticipate and deflect and sometimes to remember that the best defense is a good offense. This is not my #MeToo story. Many of my adventures of coding while female make great stories. How many people almost failed a job interview because their nose and toes touched the wall but their tits didn’t? And would you believe I actually took the job?
No my #MeToo time came years later. I was over 50 and married to Carlton. Carlton and I went to the same dentist. When you are in the dentist chair you are definitely in a compromised position. And, the dentist has at least one dangerous implement in his hand. Well, Jack, the sleazy dentist, usually worked without an assistant. That should have been a warning. For a couple of years I put up with a general feeling of queasiness and he would sort of paw around my rather unspectacular chest. (See above.) I need a dentist. He seemed to be competent and he wasn’t too expensive.
Eventually, I could stand it anymore. Pat pat pat brush brush brush innuendo innuendo innuendo. Then Jack suggested sedation for some procedure. No thank you. I never went back. Carlton asked why did you stop going to the dentist. I tell him. Carlton said I must be imagining things. He said Jack was his friend. Jack wouldn’t hit on his wife.
Well, that is what hurt. My own husband didn’t believe me.
For a long time – I don’t go to the dentist. I broke a tooth and found a new dental practice. And about that time Jack suddenly dies. Carlton goes to Jack’s office to pick up his records. The office manager tells Carlton that if I am going to sue Jack – I should get the papers filed soon. Carlton asked why would my wife sue Jack? The office manager told Carlton that Jack “had problems” with female patients. And she thought that I might be one of them.
To his credit – Carlton came home and apologized. He didn’t have to do that.
And that is my #MeToo story. Not anyone famous. Just a garden variety sleazy predator.
